Blogrolling
Today I'm adding two blogs to the list. At first glance these blogs are very different. The women behind them live at opposite ends of the Earth, one in Melbourne, the other in New York. Clearly they have very different outlooks on life, but what they do have in common, other than me reading their blogs, is that they're both funny and clever, their blogs are well written and they chronicle their own urban mis-adventures in an unsual and entertaining way.

So, make sure you visit:

• Paperback Writer


• Adventures in Dating

Yes, no or maybe
Questions, questions, questions...

Yes, England beat Argentinia 1-0 yesterday. No, I didn't make it to the pub to watch it, but fortunately I have an actual television in my own home. Maybe, I watched Ed on Channel 4 instead (flipping with the remote every few minutes to check the score). Or maybe not. Yes, I'm rapidly running out of money and cannot afford any un-necessary expenses. No, I still haven't heard back about Wednesday's job interview. Maybe, spending a small fortune on Medal of Honour: Frontline for my PS2 and a bunch of books from Amazon was a mistake.

Yes, The Onion is an excellent online satirical magazine whoose spoofs occasionlly fool the odd dim-witted reader. No, the US Congress is not threatening to move to Charlotte, despite the claims of the Beijing Evening News. Maybe, they were taken in? "We would first have to check that out. If it's indeed fake, I'm sure there will be some form of correction." Yes, Doom probably deserved its Number One position on the SMH's list of the Top 50 video games of all time. No, I'm sorry, but just because early eighties playground essential the Donkey Kong Game & Watch is ranked at forty-two, that doesn't mean it has anything to do with Douglas Adams. Maybe, placing my all-time favourite game Lemmings at fifty while ranking 1972 shoe box with wires Pong fourteenth, is taking nostalgia just a tad too far.

Loving Southport
Five hours to get there, five hours to come back. Oooph!

I’m not sure how the interview went. It was quite long, but I don’t know if that means anything. I’ve giving up trying to judge these things. Suffice to say to I liked the sound of the job, the people seemed nice, and I really hope I get it. That said, I know that I made a few mistakes in the interview. And one was a real doozy. I honestly believe that I’m getting worse with my interview technique as time goes on. Oh well.

Two days ago, I thought that the biggest downside to the job lay in having to relocate to Southport. My feelings now are so different. I see Southport as a real perk of the job. What can I say? I was wrong. I had a lot of really silly preconceptions about the place. I’ll happily admit now that my fears were misplaced. I really like it.

It’s a happening town.

Well, maybe not happening, but the town centre is certainly vibrant, there’s no denying that. Five minutes walk from where I had the interview is the town’s main street. Lord Street is a wide (and I do mean wide) thoroughfare of shops and cafes. On both sides of the street, wonderful examples of Victorian Architecture crowd for space. It brought back memories of the Queen Victoria Building in Sydney.

Running off Lord Street are a series of charming arcades filled with attractive credit card maxing opportunities. One arcade in particular was astonishingly beautiful. Its wonderfully maintained ironwork and attention to period detail give the impression that you’ve stepped back in time. The illusion is completed by the stained glass roof, which suffuses everything in a magical golden light.

I didn’t have time to visit the beach, and I know from past experiences with English beaches that it does you no good to raise your hopes too far, but the pictures I’ve seen online seem pretty impressive. Actually, they seem downright unlikely, but a boy can dream, can’t he?

Anyhow, I’ll know soon enough, one way or another.

Oh, and if any of you watched any of the recently screened Survivor 2 in the UK, I swear I saw Bridget crossing the street.

East Angular? That's abroad
Oh my god! This is officially the funniest thing I've ever linked to in the history of my blog. If you follow this link you'll find the transcript of a conversation between Big Brother 3's pretty boy twerp Spencer and nice but dim Jade. There's also a Realvideo clip of the exchange.

And you thought your geography was bad. If it wasn't so hillarious it would be frightening. I'd always been under the impression that schools in the UK were better than back home. Just what are they teaching them?

Here's a quick taster, to whet your appetite:

Spencer: "You know you see those people in Venice standing on the back of gondolas, pushing it around?"

Jade: "They don't do that on the Thames though, do they?"

Spencer: "No. I don't work on the Thames. I work in Cambridge."

Jade: "Is there not the Thames there?"

Spencer: "No!"

Jade: "Is there a river called the Cambridge river?"

Spencer: "Yeah, it's called the Cam."

Jade: "Really? You swear? I only thought there was the Thames. I thought that was the main one in London."

Spencer: "It is. I don't live in London."

Jade: "I'm confused. I thought Cambridge was in London. I knew Birmingham weren't in London."

On my way
Just heading out the door to catch the train. Southport here I come! The job interview's at 2pm. Fingers crossed!

Hoaxwatch
The good folks at CSICOP have dealt a deft blow to the bizzare September 11th conspiracy theories of French nut job Thierry Meyssan. Even if you haven't yet been exposed to Meyssan's frankly offensive theories, it never hurts to prepare yourself.

You just know that five years down the road you'll be stuck in a crowded airport terminal, sitting next to someone with one eyebrow and an encyclopaedic knowledge of Meyssan's theories. Get ready to slap him silly.

Metaphorically, of course.

Interviews at the end of the world
On Wednesday I have an interview in Southport. Don’t worry, no one else has heard of it either. It’s one of those Northern English coastal resort towns that aspires not so much to be the next Blackpool or even Brighton but rather Eastbourne -- In winter. On a bad day.

I’m not even sure it has a pier.

You know how sometimes the things you say come back to haunt you? Well, I’m hoping for just that very outcome. I’m praying that three months down the line, while I am ensconced in my cushy new Southport job and flat, some local yokel will type the name of his hometown into Google and read my bitter words. Shocked that some dozy furriner has had the gall to describe Southport as a third-rate Eastbourne, with pretensions to faded grandeur without ever having much in the way of grandeur in the first place, he’ll send me a nasty email.

There might even be implications. Consequences. I’m OK with that because implications imply that I get the job in the first place. So I’m tempting fate here.

But hang on just a second, according to thoroughly worthwhile and not a all boring Visit Southport, our Favourite Northern Resort Town “offers not only style and elegance but also variety and good value. Like Paris and Edinburgh, elegance has always been synonymous with Southport.”

Yeah right. Southport sucks. And I want to work there.

Can’t wait till Wednesday!

Besides...


:: how jedi are you? ::

Can't sleep?
One of the downsides to sleeping all day is that sleeping at night becomes more challenging. I've got the replay of the England-Sweden game playing in the background. To be honest, I'm not watching that closely any more. It's one-all, and I'm pretty sure the result will remain the same, regardless of how many times I watch. Nice grass, though. Very green.

Just quickly, I'd like to point you towards this article at the always interesting Spiked Online. I should warn you that it's a bit political and a bit serious, but definitely thought provoking.

Well there you go, the replay just finished and I still owe Mez a fiver. Dumb luck.

Money owed and sleep had
England drew one-all with Sweden today. I know this because I received a text message (as well as the Chatterbox comment below) from Mark informing me that I owed him Five Whole English Pounds. Last night we had a bet on the result of today's game. He said it would be a one-all draw, I went for a two-zip English victory.

Unfortunately I didn't get to see the game. I slept through it. In fact, I slept through most of today.

I went to bed last night about 2am. Late, but not unusually late. I was a bit drunk, but nothing extraordinary. I slept through the night until Mark's promised 7:30am wake up call. I had to be at the pub for the game by 9:30, the kick-off was at 10:30. After several false starts, a flurry of text messaging and even a quick shower, I found myself unable to control the urge to return to my wonderful, warm bed. Don't ask me how it happened, or why it happened, but I slept the entire day away, wearily climbing out of bed for the last time at 3:47pm this afternoon.

I am not proud.

So yes, Mez. I owe you a fiver.

Big Brother update
I Hate Spencer.