Folks being great
Aren't folks great?

I came home to a nice surprise today. Sitting in my letterbox was a parcel from Amazon.com. Strange, I thought, what could it be? The people at Amazon had cancelled my last order when they were unable to find copies of DVD I'd ordered. Had they suddenly found a new source? Surely they would have emailed first.

I quickly put away the shopping and settled down on the couch. Even when you know what's inside, there's nothing quite as exciting as a parcel in the mail. It's much more fun than buying something in a shop. Instant gratification is so over-rated.

I looked at the parcel, shook it a few times and put it down. I got up, went back into the kitchen and poured myself a big glass of grape juice. I like grape juice.

I got changed, turned on the TV and sat back down. The parcel was still there.

I opened the package.

Inside was a copy of Nine Stories by J.D. Salinger. Nine Stories is a book which has been on my Amazon Wishlist for a while, but which I have never, repeat never actually ordered. I picked up the delivery note and read:

Kieran, Am I forgiven for having fallen off the face of the earth? I'd better be, 'cause I'm headed to London next month.

It was from a someone I've never met in person, but with whom I used to correspond on a regular basis via email. I can't tell you how touched I am. The Internet is just this amazing thing which brings the funniest, most delightfully clever people from the other side of the world into your inbox. It can make geography irrelevant and allows freakishly nice people to send wonderful gifts to your door.

You know, it's so easy to let these kind of things slide. I'm going to be more careful in future.

P.S. If you're an occasional reader of this blog and haven't clicked on the a Comments link in a couple of days, please DON'T CLICK, at least not just yet. Would you please do me a favour? Take a look in your Temprary Internet cache and see if you can find a copy of the following file: http://www.btinternet.com/~kieran_mccabe/graphics/kmc.jpg -- This is the little kitty graphic for my comments pop-up. Unfortunately BT closed my old account a day earlier than anticipated, and I didn't get a chance to retrieve my blog graphics. I have a new PC now and my original copies of these pictures have been lost. If you do find kmc.jpg in your cache, please send me a copy.

I'd really appreciate it.

The chamber of secret filenames
People are strange. Last night I spent several very long hours downloading what I believed to be the new Harry Potter film. I couldn’t wait to uncover the mystery of The Chamber of Secrets. Five hundred megabytes later I clicked play only to discover my first voyage into the exciting world of broadband copyright infringement was a bit of a bust. No flying Ford Anglia, no magical self-writing books, not even a lousy giant snake! No, someone had just renamed a copy of the first Harry Potter movie and stuck it online to annoy unwary muggles like myself.

Before I set off for work today I started my PC downloading a different, certified absolutely 100% genuine version of the new classic. I got in a few moments ago and discovered an interesting little pop-up window on my screen. A message from one of the unknowns I had been downloading the file from.

“It’s not Chamber of Secrets, it’s Lady & the Tramp in German.”

Of course the file is still downloading and I’m either too stupid or stubborn to cut my loses now and click cancel.

So in just a few minutes I’ll be able to enjoy the excitement that is Lady and the Tramp. In German.

Shaiser!

For the record, a few months back when I was staying with Justin in Germany, we went to see Ice Age fully dubbed into German. I had absolutely no problem understanding basics of the story line. Whenever I had difficulty, I would lean over and ask Justin what they were saying and he would mumble something deliberately incoherent.

“Oh, right,” I would reply, pretending I believed that Justin knew what he was mumbling incoherently about.

The file just finished transferring and YES, we’re talking talking dogs. Talking dogs talking and singing in German. Arrrgh!

All of which reminds me of one of my favourite scenes from one of my all time favourite films, Whit Stillman’s The Last Days of Disco.

Charlotte:	Saturday, I took my niece who's seven to the Disney movie, Lady and the Tramp. She loved it. It was SO cute. I'm beginning to fall in love with the whole idea of having kids.
Alice:	I hate that movie.
Charlotte:	What?
Alice:	It's so tacky. Not to mention depressing.
Charlotte:	This sweet movie about cute cartoon dogs, you found depressing?
Josh:	There is something depressing about it. And it's not really about dogs. Except for some superficial bow-wow stuff at the start, the dogs all represent human types which is where it gets into real trouble. Lady, the ostensible protagonist, is a fluffy blond cocker-spaniel with absolutely nothing on her brain. She's great-looking, but let's be honest, incredibly insipid. Tramp, the love interest, is a smarmy braggart of the most obnoxious kind. An oily jailbird out for a piece of tail, or whatever he can get.
Charlotte:	Oh come on.
Josh:	No, he's a self-confessed chicken thief and all around sleaze ball. What's the function of film this kind? Essentially it's a primer on love and marriage directed at very young people. Imprinting on their little psyches the idea that smooth-talking delinquents recently escaped from the local pound are a good match for nice girls from sheltered homes. When in ten years, the icky human version of Tramp shows up around the house, their hormones will be racing and no one will understand why. Films like this program women to adore jerks.
Des:	God, you're nuts.
Josh:	The only sympathetic character, the little Scottie who's so loyal and concerned about Lady, is mocked as old-fashioned and irrelevant and shunted off to the side.
Des:	Isn't the whole point that Tramp changes? Ok, maybe in the past he stole chickens, ran around without a license and wasn't always sincere with members of the opposite sex, but through his love for Lady and beneficent influences of fatherhood and matrimony, he changes and becomes a valued member of that, you know, rather idyllic household.
Josh:	I don't think people really change that way. We can change our context, but we can't change ourselves.
Charlotte:	What does that mean?
Des:	Well you changed.
Jimmy:	Come on Des.
Josh:	That's a little different.
Alice:	I agree with Josh. The Scottie is the only admirable character. Would have been a much better movie if Lady ended up with him.
Des:	I'm really surprised. I think Tramp really changed.
Josh:	Maybe he wanted to change, or tried to change, but there's not a lot of integrity there. First he'd be hanging around the house, drinking, watching ball games, maybe knocking Lady around a little bit, but pretty soon he'd be back at the town dump chasing tail.