My cranky house
As I type these words it is just after 10pm on Easter Monday. I’ve been here in Germany for two weeks now. While I’m managed to get by so far with my four words of German (Ein Bier Bitter and Danke) I’ve reached a point where I am beginning to need more complex sentences. Say, for instance, I’d like to order two beers in a café; or even three! Just how would I go about it? Enquiring minds and all that…

So, tomorrow morning, before work, I will be attending my first German class. While I don’t expect to be reading Kapital in the original German any time soon, I have hopes of navigating the darker by-ways of German SQL Server error messages and being able to spot non-vegetarian ingredients on grocery labels before too long.

While it was great staying with Justin and Ramona (thanks guys), there comes a time when a boy just has to grit his teeth, plant his two feet in the earth and stand on his own.

For myself, I’ve chosen to stare down adversity in a shiny new, one-bedroom flat just across the road from the best-equipped hospital in Southern Germany. The whole thing is glass, stainless steel, beech-effect panelling and dust-bunnies. So far it’s pretty empty: just a laptop, an uncomfortable garden chair, a blow-up mattress, two suitcases full of creased clothes, a plate, bowl, glass, knife, fork, spoon and me.

I’ve decided to name the spoon Arthur.

I’ve also started to compile a pro-con list on the benefits of living next to a hospital (or Krankenhaus, as the locals amusingly insist on calling it).

Pro: [1] Nurses; [2] In case of emergency, am unlikely to die because of length of trip to hospital; [3] Nurses; [4] Err; [5] That’s it!

Con: [1] Being woken-up at all hours by Ambulances heading off to collect the remains of German motorists from their awful fate on poorly lit Autobahns; [2] Am so bored watching and re-watching my West Wing and Harry Potter DVDs I fear my head may explode (this is, strictly speaking, not the fault of the hospital, although I see no reason to be especially charitable given that the pro-list already has five things one it).

If you’ve ever visited this blog before, you should know that when I drink I am often prone to acts of general silliness, followed by declarations of undying love directed towards random waitresses. I’m afraid one recent drink-sodden night out in Überlingen may have resulted in my making an even bigger and rather less random arse of myself than usual. Work Tuesday may be a little weird, although with any luck… Oh well, the less said the better.