Online again!
Sing out words of joy, for I am back online again. Back with a brand-spanking-new, broader-than-broad 600k cable link. My connection is so fast that pages load before I even click (or are those just pop-up ads )

It's been a long time since I last put tired fingers to blog; I know most of my regulars have had the good sense to skulk off in search of pastures new, and I can hardly blame them. Hey! Just what do you think that you're still doing here? Have you no shame?

Thought not.

I have a lot of blog reading to catch up, I hope all of your archives are in order.

I'm not sure if you want to hear my tales of woe. Do you want to hear tell of the days taken off work to no avail, the appointment's not kept, the lies told, the horribly be-tatooed thugs who finally installed the cable box (after dropping it once or twice), the failure of the broadand port on the back of the cable box to do anything much at all, the eventual reconnection of the phone line, the many tragic hours spent listening to NTL's two music on hold CDs followed by scant minutes spent conversing with sub-normal customer services reps who make grand promises which they promptly ignore, the sleepless nights trying to install the broadband software (which turned out to be part of the problem), the faulty cables, the faulty USB adapter, the faulty broadband monitoring software, the faulty set-top box, the fricken faulty everything, the two smiling red-heads wearing nothing but World War One flying helmets and equipped with little more than a few wilted cellery stalks, the new PC turning up with a broken DVD drive, the crowded and always late trains, the conviction of the clearly innocent (and adorable) Winona Ryder and the frankly indecent price Starbucks charge for two measly Ginger Snap biscuits?!?

Well, you don't want to know and I'm not going to tell you. Not today. I have copyrights to infringe and fantastic books by AS Byatt to finish.